dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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