Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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