I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
