OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I smell stomach acid.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
