a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize