you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
