Pappa wants mamma naked
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
