if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
