I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
