I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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