Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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