You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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