They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Randomize
