Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
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