there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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