This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
