Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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