just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
