he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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