His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
