ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
