who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
