you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
