We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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