My sheets look like a crime scene.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
