Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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