Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Randomize