My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
this will be a night to untag.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
