he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
