If i come over, it means nothing
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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