to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
