Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
