he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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