i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
