A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Randomize
