Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
