to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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