i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
It's shark week go big or go home
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
