i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
