hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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