p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
