And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
