you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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