im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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