So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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