I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize