Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I didn't notice because vodka
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize