They should really pass out barf bags in church
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
