All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize