so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
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