I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
