Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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