Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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