party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
