billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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