Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
