Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
