And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
