I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
