I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
